I asked my first graders what they’d do if they become president…
Who gets your vote?
- “I will teach people how to be friendly.”
- “The most important thing would be to make sure everyone obeys the laws.”
- “Say no to illegal drugs.”
- “I will help people and tell them what to do.”
- “I will let everyone be healthy, safe and be nice and treat others the way you want to be treated.”
- “I would be careful what I do because I don’t want to do anything that hurts our nation. And also, I can make fair laws if they’re…a little bit…you know…out of hand. And I’ll go anywhere for our country to be safe and stuff. Well, I’d like to do anything, basically go anywhere. And…yeah.”
- “I would help the world and make sure nobody gets killed by other people.”
- “I would say that kids could do whatever they want and they could have candy.”
- “I’ll teach people to respect the world.”
- “When I’m the president, I’m gonna be sleeping.”
- “I’ll show people how to speak Spanish so people can understand you when you’re in Mexico. And I’ll show kids you can exercise at school with the weights.” (PS. This came with a free weight lifting demonstration.)
- “When I will be president, I will tell people to not kill.”
- “Um, I want to do lots of good things and don’t do bad things. I would wash somebody’s car without asking.”
- “Um, I would eat.”
xo
In honor of President’s Day, our first grade class discussed a few important things…
Why do we have a president?
- “So he or she will be in charge of us. If people make bad decisions, he’ll help them make good decisions.”
- “So he can tell us what to do.”
- “A president could lead and go more places than a king and do more stuff too. Kings are important but not worth that much. A king basically has guards that are responsible for everything so a president is more responsible than a king.”
- “I think the president makes up the laws. A king just sits around and says, ‘Go get me this and get me that.’ He doesn’t really do anything.”
- “Kings don’t take showers. They just make the servants do everything. The servants never get a day off. That’s not nice.”
What is the president’s job?
- “He tells the government what he wants to be done and the government decides if they want to.”
- “The president’s job is to make laws pretty fair.”
- “The president will live for 8 years and the king will live until he dies. When the king dies a new one comes. Kings are lazy and the president is not.”
- “To keep people safe and make sure people don’t do bad things.”
Who can become president?
- “Not me…I’m too small and cute!”
- “Anyone who makes good choices. I don’t want to be president, I want to be a teacher.”
- “George Washington.”
- “You can be president if you be nice and tell people what to do.”
- “Somebody from our class might be president.”
- “I can be president and some of my friends could be too.”
- “If the most people vote for the same person, then that person can become president.”
xo
While on a mindfulness retreat the teacher casually invited us to notice our minds as we take a shower. The thought had never occurred to me so I decided to give it a try. I was absolutely amazed at the number of conversations I was having, the stories that swept me away and how many to-do lists I had organized by the time I got to shampooing my hair. Within a 10 minute period, my mind jumped from one topic to another and it was exhausting.
If you’re interested in trying this little experiment, gently pay attention to your experience the next time you take a shower. If you notice yourself thinking, try shifting your awareness to the physical experience. How does the water feel running down your body? How does it feel to put your full attention on washing your hair?
When I catch my mind racing, I find it helpful to name what’s going on in the moment. When the awareness comes (and it eventually will) that we catch ourselves lost in thought, we quietly say to ourselves, “thinking”. We don’t need to add layers of judgement about the content or how much thinking we’re doing; just notice that our minds are busy doing their thing and that it happens to everyone.
As we notice our habits of mind, we can gently invite ourselves back into the here and now. Through our sensory experiences, we can engage in everyday moments more fully, more awakened and be with our lives as they unfold moment to moment.
xo
One common theme of “adulthood” seems to be that we’re constantly busy.
We work hard and we’re so often on our way to or from something that our minds aren’t grounded in the present moment. Being aware of whether or not our minds are in the present takes practice. It’s easy to get lost in thought, but not quite as easy to realize when it’s happening. That is until something happens to snap you out of it… like you pass your street exit or someone asks a question and you struggle to reply because you realize you weren’t listening. Given the fast pace of our daily lives and the seemingly endless expectation to multitask, we’re putting bits and pieces of our attention on a lot of things. Most of us are juggling a great deal of obligations and trying not to let a single ball drop.
Recently, a colleague asked if I could support his class with skills to handle the stress of balancing home and school responsibilities. Time management is already a challenge in 5th grade.
As adults, I’d like to ask that we take some time to slow down and pay attention to how we’re going through our days. Are we practicing self-care and nourishing ourselves? How can we model balance in our own lives so that children see it’s possible to engage fully and show up for whatever each day brings?
Remembering to hop off the hamster wheel and engage in the present moment can be the hardest part. In honor of young people looking to us to show them the way…Let’s do it…Let’s take a deep breath and slow down together.
xo
As we continue to grow our mindful awareness at school, I’ve been teaching my first graders how to pay attention to thinking. To introduce the practice, we sit in a circle, settle in to our mindful bodies and take a few deep breaths together. Next, I ring the bell and we try to be still and quiet as we notice any thoughts we’re having. During this time, I suggest they may have many thoughts or notice just a few. Perhaps they have a repeating thought or notice they’re distracted. It’s our time to investigate what happens.
After about two minutes, we listen to the sound of the bell until it goes away completely. Then, each child has the opportunity to share what thoughts they noticed (sharing is optional). Each student listens carefully as we share what’s on our minds. If someone in the group can’t hear, they do a “silent wave” indicating they’d like the speaker to repeat a bit louder. As we build this practice into our daily routine, I guide them toward noticing whether their thoughts are in the future, past or present. Using a visual is helpful with younger children so I draw a person sitting in a mindful body position with thinking bubbles going out toward the future, past and present. In each bubble, I write a thought taken directly from our group sharing. Since we’ve also practiced noticing emotions that visit, many kids mention a thought followed by how they feel when that thought arises.
“I’m thinking about the play date I had on Friday and excitement comes to visit.”
“I keep thinking about my violin recital that’s going to happen soon. I feel scared and nervous. I also feel worried because I need to practice a lot.”
“I notice that my body feels tired and I’m sleepy.”
“Anger and frustration came to visit when I couldn’t finish my breakfast this morning.”
Paying attention to our thoughts is one of many practices allowing children important time and space to investigate their inner world at school. Not only does this practice foster concentration, communication and connection within our classroom community, it provides me the opportunity to listen to the hearts and minds of my students. From here, I get to know them more fully and am better able to provide authentic and meaningful support.
xo
When I have “one of those days” I find that a play-by-play recap typically sounds like I’m making stuff up. Keeping that in mind, I’ll spare you the details of my travels today and direct my attention toward the lessons I continue to learn.
At times when I’m overwhelmed by events out of my control, I try to keep things in perspective. I attempt to settle down, remind myself of what’s most important and slowly let go of clinging to how I thought things were supposed to be. Of course, it also happens that I feel frustration, disappointment, anger and sadness as they often accompany situations that thwart my plans. We all have responsibilities and things we work hard to keep in order. It can be challenging when things don’t go our way.
In the middle of difficulty is where the rubber hits the road. This is especially true at times when it seems like a steady stream of one thing after another. I take deep breaths and practice holding my experience in the greater context of humanity. In other words, I remind myself that people all around the world face difficulty and I’m far from alone in this. Humor helps too.
Mustering up compassion during these times can be really hard. We can all get caught up in frustration and blame when things don’t go our way. I work on accepting things as they are. It doesn’t mean condoning and it surely doesn’t mean I wouldn’t wish it were otherwise. It’s more that I practice slowing down, taking a look at how things actually are and gently go from there…one step at a time.
Despite all the travel challenges today, I’m grateful for the time I spent getting to know the gentleman seated next to me on the final leg of my journey home. While his arm trembled, he explained that he’s on his way to the hospital for a second brain surgery in hopes of improving his symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease. With a soft smile, he showed me how the first surgery helped his right hand function again and told me he’ll “try anything”. I felt a shift as we shared in conversation. I noticed empathy and compassion taking the place of earlier frustrations. His wife of 50 years sat quietly across the aisle.
Today undoubtedly had obstacles, but I think sometimes those obstacles are teachers reminding us to cultivate compassion and keep things in perspective…
xo
As I commute to work, I enjoy listening to talks in my car. They give me food for thought, content to reflect upon and help to ease the challenges of sitting in traffic. Recently, a teacher was discussing the power of storytelling…specifically stories of kindness. When we share stories of the heart, we’re all lifted up a bit.
I’ve had the pleasure and challenge of teaching students at the elementary, middle and high school levels. Each day brings new stories and opportunities to connect. In my first grade classroom, it’s become routine to notice and share about kindness around us. We keep a bowl of water on the table in the “Peace Corner”. Next to the bowl rests a container filled with small pebbles. Whenever a student wants to honor an act of kindness they whisper the story, gently drop a pebble into the bowl and watch the ripples as they move outward toward the edge of the glass. As we place our attention on kindness, we celebrate human connection and remind ourselves that what we say and do matters.
During the first few months of school, my grade level colleagues and I noticed an unpleasant trend that our collaboration time left us feeling exhausted, stressed and depleted. Our preference was to walk away from our time together feeling productive, supported and nourished. After some reflection, we realized that the stories we shared were mostly fostering negativity and frustration; each adding to the next with another layer of drama. Noticing the discrepancy between our intention and reality, we made the decision to practice grounding ourselves before each meeting. Now we sit quietly together for five to ten minutes, follow our breath and invite our minds to reconnect with our bodies. Sometimes we listen to a brief talk, relaxing music or sounds of nature as we sit. Once we’ve settled in, we begin our meeting. Astonishingly, or perhaps not that surprising at all, we’ve experienced feeling more calm, focused and clear minded. The complaints that once guided our time together have taken a rest and we’re able to communicate from a place of purpose, kindness and support.
In honor of storytelling and spreading joy, I leave you with a quote from a first grader during our gratitude practice last week…
“I’m grateful for my goldfish because they’re always happy to see me when I get home. They look at me and wag their tails.”
Happy 2015! I hope this New Year brings you love, health, safety and happiness. 
My year began with a trip up the coast alongside my husband and trusty canine companion. We hit the road in our 1980 Minnie Winnie, spent a few very cold nights camping in Point Reyes among the Douglas-fir trees and were lulled to sleep by serenading owls nestled in nearby branches.
Recently inheriting this Minnie Winnie has been a blessing in more ways than one. On some level, it represents a manifestation of my life-long vision of hitting the open road, wild and carefree, with my dog and life partner by my side. On the other hand, it represents an opening to the reality that these visions we cultivate are just that…Visions. Underneath the image is where we really live our lives. The truth is that Ms. Winnie, as we call her, is a camper with years of wear and tear…issues that are costly in money, time and peace of mind. My dog is the best dog on Earth (I may be biased), but he sheds incessantly and has gas that will drive even those with the strongest tolerance running for the hills. My partner and I are navigating all the dimensions of what it means to be a human being both within and outside the context of our relationship.
They say that teachers are everywhere if you’re willing to be open. I’ve begun to realize that Ms. Winnie is teaching me to embrace what lies underneath the visions I cling to. The things that seem to go wrong aren’t necessarily wrong at all. Ms. Winnie is helping to mirror when I’m stuck in what should be, when I’m comparing reality to my ideal and when I’m not engaged in the moments unfolding before me because I’m clinging to the version of things I had planned out in my mind.
I was recently touched by a teacher’s decision to marry his life…to really commit to being with his life as it is, spending less time focused on the things that don’t match his perfect version. I’d like to invite us all to marry our lives and see how it goes to commit to the present moment more often than we get lost in how we think things should be.
I’m grateful to Ms. Winnie for shining a light on this notion that there is no perfect way to do our lives and that, probably, one of the most important and liberating lessons we can learn is to let go of this concept altogether.
We sat together quietly, eyes closed with our hands placed gently over our hearts. The energy in the classroom immediately began to calm and our bodies slowly settled with each breath. Alongside twenty five fourth graders, I invited us to recall a time in our lives when we’ve felt peaceful. With our attention on this memory, we imagined ourselves there as we called to mind the details of our surroundings. We listened to our hearts and identified reasons to be grateful for this place in our lives. If emotions came to visit during our practice we named them and noticed how it felt in our bodies. With a deep in breath we filled ourselves up with all of our gratitude for this peaceful place. On the out breath we sent off our kind wishes and appreciation.
As is our routine, many children shared about their experiences. Some felt peaceful walking on the beach in Maui, during a trip to Lake Tahoe, or in the quiet space where one young boy goes to gain respite from squabbling siblings. Our session came to a close and I was packing to leave when a soft-spoken young student called me aside to ask if she could tell me about her peaceful place. She described her small apartment shared with generations of family. In the single bedroom, there’s a corner where the unused blankets are stored during the day. There’s also a lamp, a bookshelf and space where no one interrupts. She nestles into the blankets, reflects on her feelings and enjoys solitude amidst a very busy household.
I’m thankful to this wise young girl for reminding us to notice our preconceived conditions for peace. May we open to the possibility that, sometimes, peace can be found right in the middle of it all…right here…right now.
xo
Cara (The Hostess), Me, Lisa
We celebrated our 16th annual holiday gathering with girlfriends I’ve known for over 25 years. It’s a beautiful thing to see how we’re all navigating our lives and constantly evolving. When I was younger, I moved around a lot and found myself wishing I had “old friends” like those who had known each other since preschool and such. Funny to think about “old friends” as defined by an 8 year old. I now truly understand what it means to have life-long friendships and value each of their roles in my life more than I can describe. One girlfriend in particular is at the heart of these gatherings as the hostess and pioneer every December. It’s a time we all cherish and I’m so very grateful.
xo
Connecting With Heart 